Mind over matter.... or miles

In January, after returning home from my trip, I was anxious -- anxious for a new challenge, a new motivation, and to be honest, a distraction from the fact I was starting college in mere days. I began to think of challenges that were obtainable, but not easy. I was in okay shape, but definitely not the best seeing as I had been away for three months, with no strength or cardio training even close to what I was used to doing. I will say however, it was a nice break, and it taught me that although I enjoy fitness, it is not the most important thing in the world. You can take breaks, take days, even months off, and you will still be strong. This thought sparked a flame inside me, and I was going to prove just that. While abroad, I definitely did not get physically stronger, in fact I got significantly weaker, but I grew mentally stronger. With this new strength I found endless possibilities, far beyond any physical challenge.

I sat in my room and pondered ideas and physical challenges. There are plenty. One had always stood out to me, one that few achieve, only 1% of the United States population to be exact; a marathon. I had said many times I want to run Boston someday, but who hasn't said that? Just like most things it was just a simple aspiration, like "I want to be rich" or "I want to live on the beach with a hot husband, two kids and a dog.” I think you get the point. Physically, I was nowhere close to being prepared for the distance of 26.2 miles. I didn't even enjoy driving that distance! But I was hungry for a challenge.

After doing research, I came across a cheap marathon, ironically and actually called "The Cheap Marathon.” I knew I didn't want to spend a lot of money if there was a chance I wouldn't be prepared or would have to step out. The idea danced in my mind for days, but not like gracefully danced, like punk rock, screamo dancing, very distracting. I found myself googling it time and time again, so much so that ads started coming up on all of my social media, (crazy how that works these days). It was January, the race would be in April, which seemed so far away. After way too much thinking about it, I just did it. I signed up, but I told very few people, because once again I was nervous I wouldn't actually do it. I immediately googled every article there was about training for a marathon in 3 months, looking for a confidence booster, or an easy way. Come to find out, that doesn't exist.

Fast forward three months -- time flies by in college. I had been running, but no where near the mileage my "marathon training app" would tell me to everyday. For example, I was at 7 miles when it was telling me I should be at 17. However, I didn't let this drag me down because I thought 7 miles was pretty darn far! Two weeks before the big race, I ran in my second half marathon, beating my first time by 25 minutes, and setting my personal best time. This definitely boosted my confidence -- maybe a little too much -- because that would be the furthest I would run before I stepped onto the starting line Sunday.

Shaking, from a combination of the cold, not-so-beachy April weather and nerves that filled me from head to toe, I found myself standing at the starting line of an actual marathon. I think it was right about when the hip dude with the long dreads said "go" that I began to think, "why do I do these things to myself?” The answer to that question took 4 hours and fifteen minutes to reach. “Because I can.” I do these things because, aside from what you think you can do, or think you can't do, you are never going to be wrong. Mile after mile, loop after loop, I could have stopped, no one would have hated me for it. I could have walked away, saying I would train for real next time and have no problem. Or I could complete what I was longing for all along, a new challenge.

This is where my newly gained mental strength became so important. Were my legs actually turning to bricks, or was my mind just telling me that to get me to stop? What if I told my mind to stop telling me to stop, would the pain stop? Meanwhile, I kept running, at the same pace throughout these constant debates in my mind. This did not make it any easier, but it made it doable. These 26.2 miles are a mental journey, filled with love, lots of hate, questioning, thoughts, and many debates. All that comes to an end when you cross that finish line, proving it was all just your mind talking because well, it wasn't your body. "You just ran a freaking marathon," I thought to myself in awe.

It was then where it became even more clear to me, you can do anything, absolutely anything you set your mind to, and as difficult as some task may seem, you can complete it, and you will if you just do it. As the front page of this blog says, "don't google how, do it now.” Coming from someone who tried to find the solution on Google, trust me, you can't. If you had said to me a few years back that I would complete a marathon when I was 18, I would have laughed, hard. From nearly losing my young life to a heart condition at birth, to having a heart strong enough to pump out 26.2 miles, anything is possible for anyone. It is no coincidence that people walk, after multiple doctors tell them they will never walk again. If they believe they can, they will, and they do, and so can you. You don't even have to look, you already have the answer. It is you, every decision, every accomplishment, every failure is created by you, and the only thing that can change this or make things happen, is you.